I've used the strictest scientific approach, i.e. it sleeted this morning so I went to the neighbour's empty section and practiced my wedges, imbibing a different vasodilator after every 25 shots.
The first vasodilator I tried was brandy, followed by whiskey, rum, gin, and vodka (all alcohol was taken double-shot and straight, so as to rule out the effect of mixers). I measured vasodilation by the rosiness of my cheeks and accuracy of my shots. And whether or not the club stayed in my hands.
Conclusions:
1. If you're prone to shanking, don't imbibe anything because there's nothing like a frozen body to prevent shanking.
2. Brandy works pretty well. Cheeks had a wee tinge of red. Managed to hit 25 pretty good shots, with a high degree of accuracy, without shivering too much.
3. Whiskey works pretty well. Cheeks definitely rosy. Managed to hit some good shots, never shivered.
4. As expected, rum works brilliantly. Cheeks rosy red, only managed to hit half the balls but that was okay because suddenly I had double the targets I'd started with.
5. Gin, yep, can see how the Brits managed to conquer so much of the world with it. There won't be any more unrestrained dogs around this neighbourhood again, no sirree. Not too many restrained ones, either, if those skinny shots over the fence are anything to go by. Cheeks glowing, nose glowing, ears glowing ... not sure what I'm hitting any more but they looked a bit like golf balls.
5. Vodka!! Yep, this one's the best. Should've known the Russians would provide the answer. Yep, no doubt about it ... What was the question?
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