Tuesday 31 July 2012

Jandal Budget Golf


We decided to start our Aussie golf trip on the Gold Coast, rather than going straight to the Sunshine Coast, so that we could play Ocean Shores Country Club again. We played it last year and just loved it and thought it was excellent value for money.
Blue sky golf at Ocean Shores
We got a copy of The Golfer, a free golf magazine, on our first day here. Most golf courses have them available in their pro shops. It often has special green fee deals and, sure enough, Ocean Shores were offering the same deal as last year - 18 holes, shared cart and lunch for $49. We quoted the ad when we rang and got a tee time on Sunday afternoon.
We had the free lunch before we played (starting to get sick of bacon sandwiches so it was well-timed) and were assured that although we were behind two fours, it wouldn’t be too slow.
We believed the starter, until we counted six players on the first green we played (we started on the 10th). By the end of the round, we were convinced that they were the six SLOWEST players in the club, playing together.
I’m sure the dire pace of play was what helped Fiona beat me, at last.
Or it could have been my four 3-putts.
Normally such a slow round would colour your judgement against the course but ... this course is a great test of golf. It’s got everything. Lots of well-placed large bunkers, strategically placed water (both in front of greens and beside fairways), elevated tees, large greens (not too heavily undulated).
Members who wouldn’t know golf etiquette if it bit them on the bum.
And don’t tell me that a two doesn’t have any rights on a golf course. It has a hell of a lot more rights than a six! (No, I’m not bitter and twisted about it - I was born this way.)
If you’re going to play Ocean Shores, sharpen your sand wedge. (It’s easier to bury in a tree, that way.) Or, at least sharpen your bunker skills by watching the Ms Kallas-Way bunker tip on YouTube. I spent an awful lot of time ‘showing the crab the view’ and managed to get up and down from greenside bunkers a couple of times.
Several of the greens are protected by bunkers, and when I say ‘protected’ I mean, as in Fort Knox protected, i.e. there’s generally only a wee gap of 3 feet between front bunkers. So forget about running your shot on to those par 4s and 5s. You’re going to have to play a lofted shot on to the green, often with a long iron or rescue club.
I decided I’d adopt a different approach to today’s round and be more aggressive than I had been. When I’m not hitting the ball well, I tend to take bail-out options and go for the fat part of the green rather than the pin. However, I’m starting to hit the ball well again so I decided to go for my shots.
After all, it’s such a buzz when you pull off a good shot over water and ... I’m 4 balls ahead of Fiona as I haven’t lost any, yet.
12th hole Ocean Shores Country Club
The 12th hole is a 163 metre par 3, with water all the way up the right and cutting in front of the green. You have to carry your tee shot 147 metres, over the hazard, or fade it from the right, or bail out right.
Last year my tee-shots were dreadful (weak slicing) so I played chicken golf and bailed out short right. This year I’m hitting my tee-shots as well as ever so I went for the pin. I carried the water but hit the bank of the hazard and popped up just short of the green. (Due to the extremely wet winter they’ve had, there is absolutely no run on any of these courses.)
Had an easy chip and one putt for par.
There’s nothing like positive reinforcement at the start of your round to make you feel great about the day.
There’s nothing like adding up your score after 9 to deflate that feeling. 43, bugger.
Fiona scored 45 so I had a 2-shot lead.
The 3rd hole was my favourite. A bunker covers most of the front of the green, but the hole measures only 96 metres so you’re playing a short iron. Because the bunker has a high lip, you can’t see the bottom of the flag. But there’s a bunker protecting the back of the green so you can’t bail out long.
We decided on 9-irons. Fiona went first and hit hers solidly. We were surprised when her ball landed on top of the bunker lip. Fortunately, it had enough momentum to go forward.
I changed to my 8-iron and couldn’t have hit it any better, but we didn’t know whether it was good or bad because we couldn’t see the green.
So it was nice to get up to the green and see my ball just 10 inches left of the hole.
Easy birdie. Fiona chipped and one-putted for par and, at this stage, led by one, thanks to a 3-putt double bogey and bogey by me.
The next hole was a dogleg par 5 of only 385 metres but you have to lay up off the tee because of a drain across the fairway. Second shot has to miss a large pond left and bunker right and then you’re playing your 3rd to a looooong green.
Which I 3-putted. (Should have sharpened my putter. Those trees were looking really inviting.)
The next hole, par 4, 296 metres, required a good drive to give you a comfortable shot over yet another drain in front of the green. Fiona’s rescue club left her just short of the green and I was just ahead of her so used the same club. And put it into yet another greenside bunker.
“Show the crab the view,” I told myself, and put the ball a foot from the hole.
Narrow gaps between front bunkers
Not keen on the greens here, but I love their bunkers.
That might be because I’m spending a lot of time in them.
We finished our round in the dark but, alas, it wasn’t dark enough to obscure our scores.
Fiona 84, Kay 86.

Friday 27 July 2012

Gold Coast Country Club, Queensland


17th tee, Gold Coast Country Club

We found a great deal on iseekgolf.com.au (a golf booking system in Australia) which offered green fees and a cart at the Gold Coast Country Club for $19.50 per person. Iseekgolf lists available tee times at a number of courses and the price depends on which are the most popular times to tee off. You must be a member to take advantage of the deals but membership is easy and free. And you can save as much as 50% on fees, especially after midday.
Gold Coast Country Club reminded me of a public course. It looked well used.
A lot of the ‘well used’ look was probably due to the high rainfall over winter and the fact that they still let people use carts on a course that didn’t have complete cart paths. So the sides of some fairways had what looked like wombat wallows. Local rules included a club-length preferred lie through the greens, which I found I needed for bare lies rather than muddy patches.
But over here a ‘wet’ course is different to New Zealand. At home you tend to get mud all over your shoes and trousers - we walked off today’s course with mudless shoes.
Of course, the cart might have had something to do with that.
Some of the bunkers were GUR. They were easy to pick out as they were the bunkers with ducks swimming in them.
I thought the course was fine. It helped to hit the ball straight, which we both managed today. This was probably helped by hitting 30 or 40 balls at the practice range before we played. (70 balls for $10)
The Gold Coast course measures 5526 metres so our fairway woods got more work than at Gainsborough Greens. It had some large greens but the undulations weren’t as severe as Gainsborough Greens so the putting was a little easier.
Greens or browns?
I think I’m starting to get used to the stringy grass they have on their greens. I suppose it has to be tough to survive in this heat, but I’m finding it difficult to judge speed and to read break. When you fix pitchmarks, it feels like a brillo on grit.
Only two of the par 4s were under 300 metres and the greens are well protected by bunkers, so you really need to hit your fairway woods strong and straight to score well here. The first eight holes were interesting enough but the 9th really grabbed our attention.
It’s a dogleg par 5 of 485 metres, uphill for your last shot over water. Fairway bunkers to avoid off the tee and you’ve got to place your second shot far enough up to reach the green, but not too far or you’ll be in water, which is both sides of where your ball ends up.
For your third shot you look up to a green and if you’re not far enough left, you not only have to carry a swamp, but you also have to carry two large bunkers. And forget about bailing out left of the green, because there’s another bunker there.
I carried the swamp ... but not the bunker. Which left me with a long bunker shot to a long double-green (the 9th and 18th). I used my pitching wedge, for a little extra length, and pitched my ball ... into the next bunker. Finally got on the green and managed to 2-putt from 40 feet.
That gave me my first double bogey for a 43 (par 36). Fiona was 42.
I could hear the car keys jangling.
The back nine of this course is where things really get interesting because along with plenty of bunkers, you’ve got water.
By the time we got to the 12th (par 3, 115 metres over water) our scores were even. I teed off first and my 6-iron found the green. Fiona’s ball soared over the water and landed just on the other side, almost stopped, and then trickled back into the pond.
I offered sympathy (it was a brand new ball) but was told... Well, I daren’t repeat it here because this is not an R18 blog.
Two-shot swing.
Fiona made up one of the shots on the next hole with a good up-and-down where we were both short on a par 5 with a long uphill green, pin at the back.
The 15th is a 345 metre par 4 with a bunker across most of the front of the green. I hit two good woods and still had 40 metres left, over the bunker. Fiona was about 10 metres closer. I played my gap wedge to 6 feet. Fiona played her sand wedge like a driver and the ball skidded over the green and into water, which we hadn’t realised was there.
I sympathised. Another new ball. Only a two-shot swing as I missed my putt.
The 16th is a wonderful dogleg par 4, only 287 metres but a very narrow landing area for your drive. There’s water up the right from about 130 metres off the tee, cutting into the fairway the further to the hole you go, and trees left. We both drove well and had 97 metres left, 50 metres over water which had cut in front of the green.
It was a two-tiered green so I took an extra club, figuring that the hill behind the hole would stop my ball going too far. The plan worked perfectly.
Fiona’s ball cleared the water, but not the bank.
Splash went the ball.
A new ball.
I kept my mouth shut.
“I’ll drive,” said Fiona.
Parred the last 3 holes to shoot 39 (par 35) and a total of 82, so things are looking up.

Gainsborough Greens Golf Club, Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia

Strategy is more important than length at Gainsborough Greens
When the driver disagreed with the first instruction on Google Maps, to get to Gainsborough Greens, I wondered if it was an omen on the way she would drive on the golf course.
Alas, it was.
So the moral of the story is, if you don’t want to set yourself up for diversions on the golf course, don’t take diversions on the way there.
Golf is all about setting up good habits and sometimes you don’t know when the pre-shot routine has started.
We found a flyer at the brochure stand at our resort for 18 holes at Gainsborough Greens, with a cart, for $39 and managed to book a tee-off time at 12.36. It’s dark at 5.30 so we figured that was probably the latest we should book, as sometimes rounds over here take 5 hours.
I loved this course. Okay, it is a little bit scruffy with some of the many bunkers a bit hard-packed around the edges and the greens were not consistent in speed. But the layout means every single hole holds your interest.
There are a lot of doglegs and many holes have water features but the bailout areas are generous. Gainsborough Greens oozes ‘character’, unlike most of the resort courses which all seem to meld together in my memory.
(There’s dementia in my family so, in fairness, the courses may not be at fault here.)
Off the women’s tees, the course measures 5050 metres so it’s not a monster. All the par 5s are over 400 metres and it takes 3 damn good shots to get to them but many of the par 4s are under 300 metres so you don’t have to be a big-hitter to score on this course.
The first hole is a gentle introduction, only 246 metres downhill to a hidden green. Bunkers left and right in the fairway so you have to drive straight. I did and was left with 60 metres to the green and managed to hit the first hole in regulation. “Love this course,” I thought, and immediately 3-putted.
Most of the greens are small but undulating so the putting can be very tricky if you’re not in the right spot.
Standing on the 2nd tee, you’re immediately jolted out of your sense of security. The 2nd is a 285 metre par 4, dogleg right, pond in front of the tee so you had to carry about 120 metres to get to the fairway. Then at 145 metres, you had two large bunkers. So if you are a natural fader of the ball, or you can control your slice, the hole is challenging but doable. Visually intimidating and if I had any brains I’d have played a 5 wood on to the fairway but ... where’s the fun in that?
After I wrote ‘7’ in the scorecard, I concluded there’d have been way more fun in that, than hitting my ball into the left bunker, staying in the bunker, dribbling out of the bunker, chunking my iron into the rough, pulling my half-wedge and then chipping and one-putting.
At least the hole had a happy ending.
Fortunately, that was my worst score at the course but the front 9 (par 35) really chewed me up and spat me out. I scored 48.
Sixth tee, Gainsborough Greens

Fiona scored 45.
I got my first birdie at the 11th, a 245 metre dogleg right with a wide pond directly in front of the green. When Fiona went in the water with her second shot, I changed from a 9 to an 8 iron and made the green. Sank a 20 ft putt and decided the greens weren’t so bad after all.
The 12th hole is the narrowest hole I’ve ever seen. Well, narrow probably isn’t quite right because it has a bailout area on the left but when you stand on the tee, there’s a stand of trees immediately on your right which appear to go almost to the green. The right front of the green is guarded by a bunker and there are lots of humps and hollows on the left.
At 239 metres, it’s a very short par 4 but, once again, visually intimidating. Especially if you haven’t watched the Ms Kallas-Way YouTube video on bunker play.
You could easily lay up with an iron off the tee but ... where’s the fun in that?
When my drive ended up in the greenside bunker, (I hit the cart path for extra distance and, yes, of course I planned it that way) I decided I had to redefine my meaning of ‘fun’ when on the golf course.
But I applied the principles of Ms Kallas-Way’s bunker tuition and ‘showed the crab the view’ to end up nicely on the green where I sank a 15 ft putt for another birdie.
The 18th is a superb par 5 finishing hole, 436 metres dogleg left. I suspect a lot of scores have been ruined here but it’s a buzz if you hit the green in regulation without going in the water. You need to keep your drive right as there is water on the left and a very strategically placed tree, leftish, to muck up your second shot.
I ended up behind the aforementioned tree but managed to draw my 3 wood around it which left me with 130 metres to the green. Which was protected by a wide lake, directly in front.
If you’re a nervous golfer, or running out of balls, you could lay up to the water with a half wedge and then have a short iron to the green but ... where’s the fun in that?
130 metres is a 4-iron for me but with that water in front and heaps of room at the back of the green, I took out my 5 wood ... and landed pin high.
Unfortunately, I 3-putted. But it’s always a buzz when you pull off those shots across water.
Whoever invented the saying ‘game of two halves’ must have been a golfer. Thanks to long, straight driving and steady irons on the second nine (par 37) I managed to shoot 40 coming home.
Fiona shot 45, so I didn’t have to drive back to the resort. (Worst gross has to drive home.)
The round was very slow on the front 9 but not so bad on the back and took four and a half hours. Although we had a cart, it’s a very easy walking course so we’d use trundlers next time.
If you don’t hit the ball straight, you’ll need lots of spare balls because there is a lot of water. And, unlike the resort courses, it comes into play a lot. But don’t let that intimidate you. This is a course where strategy matters (and there is lots of fun in that) and I think it’s got something to offer all handicap ranges.
I can’t wait to play this course again.
(Not so sure about Fiona.)

Wednesday 25 July 2012

Queensland Golf on a Jandal Budget

July 26 and it's our first full day in Australia.

Our mission, and we've chosen to accept it, is to have a really, really cheap golfing holiday, and to give you tips on how to do the same. All prices are in Australian dollars.
After a shocking flight yesterday from Wellington (the flight was smooth but the chin reflected in the airplane toilet mirror was not), we arrived in Brisbane to a warm 20 degrees day.
I'm trying to figure out what it is about me that means every time I fly, I get pulled aside and patted down for explosives. It usually only happens on the Aussie side but this time it happened in Wellington.
"It's because my surname's Irish, isn't it?" I asked the patter-down. She assured me it was completely random. Now, I'm not great at maths but 3 out of 4 flights is not completely random.
It was the first time we'd flown with Virgin and I'd give them full marks (apart from the lighting over the toilet mirror) for an excellent flight.
My definition of an excellent flight is a flight that takes off and lands without killing me.
We picked up our rental car, a 2011 Hyundai Elantra ($976 for 36 days, 100 kms per day, Apex Rental) and went with the $1 per day for tolls option. By doing that, you don't have to worry about ringing the toll authorities, or trying to pick out alternative routes to miss the toll roads. (Not always the best option, especially if you're the navigator and the driver doesn't react well to being told, "Whoops, we should have turned back there" several times per trip.)
Nice car with heaps of room in the boot for two sets of golf clubs in carry bags. However, if you have all your music on your Ipod, you'll need to bring your own Ipod car cable to connect to the car system. Not a problem for us as we own a Hyundai i45.
Of course, once you've connected the Ipod, there could be a problem agreeing on the music. I'd advise anyone keen on their own music to adopt the navigator role as it's easier to control the Ipod when you don't have a steering wheel in the way. Just remember the phrase, "Whoops, we should have turned back there" any time the driver gets uppity. Especially if you're into Siouxsie and the Banshees and the driver's refusing to sing along.
We're having our first five nights in Coolangatta/Tweed Heads because we're keen to play Ocean Shores Golf Course, in northern New South Wales, again. It was our favourite golf course in this area, last year, and they do good deals on green fees.
We found a good deal on the Internet, staying at the Greenmount Beach Resort for $90 per night, which includes a cooked breakfast. The Resort doesn't realise it, but a cooked breakfast also means a packed lunch. Just take a bag or a sweatshirt with you to the restaurant and you'll be able to smuggle out enough bacon for a couple of bacon butties for lunch.
Five free lunches for 2 people (@ a conservative $10 per person) = $100, which equals 2 green fees at a reasonable golf course.
The Greenmount is a bit tired but passes my test as an acceptable place to stay, ie, I arrive and leave without the place killing me.
Whoops, no, that's the airline test.
It passes most of my accommodation tests, which are:
1. It's clean.
2. There's enough room to do my back stretching exercises on the floor and, when I get up from the floor, there's nothing yukky stuck to my back.
3. Central location within walking distance of a supermarket.
4. Quiet room with comfortable bed.
I've struck number 5 off my list because so few hotels/motels pass it.
Thickness of toilet paper.
It's a good idea to look at the brochure stands in the motels as you can find some good golf deals there. We found a flyer for a round of golf at Gainsborough Greens for $39.50, including a cart. Gainsborough Greens is featured in the Golf Australia magazine we bought and they say it's one of the Gold Coast's best-value-for-money courses.
We're playing it today, so I'll let you know.



Monday 23 July 2012

Rebirthing Breathwork and Golf

Rebirthing Breathwork claims to 'improve physical health, release toxins from the body, increase the ability to deal with stress, and help to release stored emotions from the body'.
So does hitting a good golf shot.

Agonising Golf and More Agonising Golf ebooks available
from smashwords.com

Thursday 19 July 2012

Revolutionary New Golf Swing Method

18th hole, Waikanae
Have you tried absolutely everything to improve your golf, and nothing works?
Here's some good news!
You haven't tried everything until you've tried the revolutionary new golf swing improvement method, rigoruously developed by Ms Kallas-Way.
Golfers have tried swing lessons, psychiatric advice, fitness regimes, nutritional plans, video lessons.
They haven't worked.
And why haven't they worked?
Because they haven't narrowed their focus enough.on the vital part of the golf swing.
Club on ball.
That's right! Who cares what happens on the way back or on the way through, as long as the clubface hits the ball squarely? Jim Furyk and Bubba Watson certainly don't.
Here's what you do.
On a perfectly still day, find a tree over a pond. Take golf club and ball into that tree and find a wee forked branch which will hold your ball.
Hit the ball.
The trick (apart from not falling out of the tree) is to watch your clubface hit the ball, by observing your reflection below.
This not only makes you keep your head down, but it also imprints the swing fault on your brain so you have better recall. When you can 'see' the fault, you're 90% of the way to fixing it.
Add a crocodile to the pond, as above, and you can also fix any balance problems.
Ms Kallas-Way guarantees this method as a sure-fix solution to scoring lower.
There's just one little hitch.
You'll have to buy a new set of clubs (left-handed if you're right-handed, and right if you're left) because you'll be looking at a mirror image.



Monday 16 July 2012

Blindfold Golf

Blindfold golf 
The golf lesson I had last week wasn't going well, so when the pro went into his office and came back with a blindfold, my heart sank.
Good God, I thought, my swing has got so bad that he can't even bear to look at me!
I was used to this response when I put a home-cooked meal in front of guests, but had never had it at golf before.
"If it's that bad, couldn't you just close your eyes?" I asked.
"It's not for me," he said, "it's for you."
Good God, I thought, he's going to shoot me!
I stepped backwards.
He stepped forwards.
I stepped backwards, and fell over my bag.
The pro helped me up. I couldn't see any gun-like bulges under his clothes.
He motioned me to get my 6 iron and return to the driving bay. "You have a problem with trust," he said, approaching me with the blindfold.
"Only since watching the 'Crime and Investigation' channel," I said.
The pro shook his head. "Trusting your swing."
I relaxed. "Oh, trusting my swing. Now I see."
The pro tied the blindfold across my eyes and oriented me to the practice ball.
I swang.
The ball went sideways. I fell over.
I pushed the blindfold up and hit a practice ball, ok, and then put the blindfold down.
The ball went forwards, but not very far. Me too.
I obviously needed to work on my balance.
I played one shot without the blindfold and then one shot with it. After half a dozen shots, I hit a very good 6 iron with the blindfold, and managed to hold my finish without falling over.
The pro removed the blindfold. "Any time you have a bad round where you're not hitting your irons solidly, I want you to go to the practice fairway and do this drill. The main thing wrong with your swing is that you hit a few bad shots and then get too analytical."
"Paralysis by ananlysis," I said.
He nodded. "If you can hit the ball that well, without seeing it, and maintain your balance, you will learn to trust muscle memory."
NB. Don't leave your car at a 45 degree angle to the practice fairway. This is a great exercise for golfers, but can be hard on parked cars.




Saturday 14 July 2012

Adrenaline Golf



How can we boost golf club membership numbers?
That's the question golf course managers throughout New Zealand are asking, as membership numbers continue to slide.
The Shady Acres club, in the backblocks of New Zealand, has come up with an exciting concept. I interviewed the entrepreneur who has managed to reverse the shrinking  membership trend.
"Well," said Fred, president, captain, treasurer and greenkeeper of Shady Acres golf club, "the problem is that as our older members kark it, there aren't enough young 'uns to replace them."
Fred pointed at an area behind the clubhouse that had a lot of crosses (made from golf clubs) on it.
"We've sold a lot of grave plots out back where we used to keep the fertiliser, but that's only a one-off source of income." He scratched his chin. "We had to come up with a way to make golf appeal to kids who sit on their arses all day, stare at a screen and blow things up or away."
I nodded. "Yes, it's a tough market to entice into the great outdoors."
Fred grabbed my arm. "Exactly! That's why we got on to all the social media we could cover and discovered that there is one thing which gets these kids (anyone under 30) outside." He nodded sagely. "A quick hit of adrenaline."
I extracted my arm and rubbed it. "You're going to give them guns and get them to shoot all the slow players?"
"Nope," said Fred, "even slow players are welcome, in these hard times."
I shrugged. "So ..."
Fred grabbed my other arm and dragged me towards the greenkeeper's shed. "Wait'll you see this," he said.
A shot of adrenaline coursed through my veins but, fortunately, Fred didn't undo any zips. He pointed to a pen of sheep. "There you have it. New Zealand's answer to Pamplona's running of the bulls."
I stared at the sheep. "I can't really see the similarity."
Fred let go of my arm and put his hand in his pocket. "Take a look at this."
I recoiled, but Fred merely pulled a camera out of his pocket.
Unfortunately, the battery was flat. He shoved the camera back in his pocket and pointed again at the sheep. "Running of the Rams Golf, coming to a course, near you!"
I stared at the sheep. "They don't even have horns."
"Of course not," said Fred, "they're Perendales."
"Oh?"
"New Zealand breed. Perfect for Running of the Rams Golf. We don't want the golfers to get gored. We need returning customers." He jumped into the pen and wrestled a ram closer. I peered over the railing.
"See," said Fred, "the high whithers and upright carriage of the head. And look at the well laid back shoulders and the spring in the pasterns. Combine that with a slight slope at the tailhead and you've got maximum drive from the hindquarters. This sheep is the closest animal you'll ever get to Spain's Pamplona bulls!"
I must have looked doubtful. Fred leapt out of the pen. "Get your golf clubs."
In spite of my protests of not being under 30 and therefore not needing a shot of adrenaline to enjoy my golf, Fred insisted. I stood uncertainly on the first tee. "When do you release the rams?"
Fred smiled. "Ahh, that's the secret. You won't know. Could be the first hole, could be the ninth."
After having doubts about Running of the Rams golf, I'm now a convert. It's amazing how being trampled by stampeding rams cures overswinging.




Friday 13 July 2012

Ten Good Reasons for golfing on an Active Volcano

1. Perfect excuse for 3-putting, i.e. I missed that putt because the mountain trembled and knocked my ball off-line.
2. No such thing as slow play when the volcano erupts.
3. Volcanoes turn golf into an adventure sport.
4. An eruption means you can play at night.
5. You get more satisfaction out of throwing errant clubs into boiling lava than water.
6. The adrenaline you produce during a volcanic eruption will have you hitting the ball 40 to 50 metres further than usual.
7. That annoying person in your four who's always saying, "I'll never play golf again" might not.
8. You'll finally find out whether or not you're suited to speed golf.
9. If it's the middle of winter, at least you'll be able to keep your hands and feet warm.
10. You'll be forced to keep your head down to avoid ash in your eye and flying boulders.

Buy Mountain Mayhem and you'll discover how to survive on an erupting volcano. (It comes down to wearing the correct underwear.)

Thursday 12 July 2012

Centennial Golf Course, Taupo, New Zealand

Centennial Golf Club stone age golfer
I played Centennial Golf Course, Taupo, a few days ago, for the first time in 20 years.
Since my game, way back then, they've removed a lot of trees, giving it very much a links feel. However, the lack of trees has not made it any easier.
Off the women's tees, most of the par 4's are well over 300 metres long so you need to be driving straight and hitting the fairway woods and long irons well.
If you have a mean slice or wild hook, take lots of balls. Although there isn't any water, the long rough is very gnarly and swallows balls quicker than a hypochondriac swallows pills.
(I'd just like to mention here that we three women didn't lose one ball, while the male in the group lost three.)
We played at 11.00 on a Monday and, on a perfect still, sunny day, pretty much had the course to ourselves. It's very relaxing when you have no golfers ahead of or behind you.
If you don't already have it, buy a copy of the New Zealand Golf Guide. New Zealand Golf Guide
10th green at Centennial
 (It's great for reduced green fees, but also wonderful because of all the course and contact info it contains.)  We got $15 off our round by presenting the book, so only paid $32 for our round. That has to be the bargain of the year for a course in such good order in the middle of winter.
The first hole is superb. A very sharp dogleg left, 225 metres, where you can't take driver off the tee or you'll go in the trees on the far side, if you're lucky, or the fairway bunkers, if you're not. It's one of only two par 4's under 300 metres, the 17th being the other one. A wee draw with a rescue wood worked well for us.
I'm trying to think of a signature hole, but there are so many good holes that I'll have to adopt a few aliases.
The 5th and 6th are on my list. The 5th is a long par 5, 450 metres, downhill at the end to a hidden green. (Alas, the shape of the hole matched my score as I missed the green left with my 3rd and ended up double-bogeying.)
The 6th is a 149 metre par 3, with a deep donga left so don't go there. I did, and had a sunken lie so used my rescue wood to bump the ball up on to the green. Then I sank a 20 ft putt for par.
The greens on Centennial are excellent. Reasonably quick without being scary fast, and they're all the same speed. They look dark green, certainly much darker than the greens I'm used to playing. I suppose that has something to do with all the frosts they get  in Taupo.
The 14th is a 338 metre dogleg left, with a raised green protected by bunkers left and right. Takes a good drive and a damn good second shot (probably with a fairway wood, if you're chicken/sensible and don't cut the corner) to get on this green.
2nd shot to 14th green
If pushed, I'll select the 16th as the signature hole on Centennial. Once again, it's a dogleg left, 337 metres where you need a long, straight drive to set up for a second shot across a valley to the green. A very long green which I managed to hit in two. It's just a shame that my ball was at the back and the pin was at the front. Three-putted for a bogey ... sigh.
Fantastic golf course and, although it chewed me up and spat me out, I'll look forward to returning because I'm sure I can score better.
That's the one good thing about playing badly, providing you're an optimist.


Tuesday 10 July 2012

Doomsday Golfers

Doomsday Preppers (people preparing for the end of the world) have discovered golf.
Along with the gas masks, guns, food and water, this group of Americans (there are a few others scattered around the world, but most of them are from the U.S.) are also hoarding golf clubs and golf balls.
There are several reasons for this:
1. The Doomsday Preppers have all their supplies in a very confined space so practice putting is the only sport they'll be able to do until the 'all clear' is sounded.
2. The DPs like the idea that a golf club can also be used as a weapon.
3. They're convinced the end of civilisation is nigh, so bad golf isn't going to depress or frustrate them.
4. Bullet proof vests and gas masks inhibit excessive movement so they're all brilliant putters.
5. If they run out of ammunition, they can load their rocket launchers with golf balls.
6. In an apocalypse there'll be holes everywhere so it'll be easy to set up a course.

Agonising Golf and More Agonising Golf ebooks available
from smashwords.com

Monday 9 July 2012

Wairakei Resort 9 Hole Golf Course, New Zealand




First green, frost cleared to hill

Had a couple of spare hours this morning before a lunch appointment and we were staying at the Wairakei Resort so decided to play their 9 hole course.
Perfect day for golf - beautiful blue skies and not a breath of wind.
Unfortunately, that meant we had a frost so the greens were frozen and we couldn't start until 10.30.
I didn't have very high expectations of the course, as they must get a lot of hackers on it, which usually means divots everywhere and bumpy greens.
The green fees were $15 for 9 holes and we were pleasantly surprised by the course, though I certainly wouldn't pay $30 to make up an 18 hole round.
The course consists of four par 3's, three par 4's, and two par 5's which adds up to a par of 34.
The first hole is a short, straight forward par 4, which 3 out of 4 of us parred. Most of the greens are like upside down saucers, so if you pull or push your shot to the green, it's going to run off the side. But the greens are a little on the slow side, so chipping isn't too tricky. The greens are very consistent.
The second hole is a short par 4 along the side of a hill, so no matter where you hit your drive, you're going to end up on the left. From where you'll probably only have half a wedge.
The green was still frozen when we played it. I thought the ice would slow down my ball but it reacted like a curling stone and shot through the back.
Bogey.
The third hole is a dogleg par 5. One of the better holes, with a long two-tiered green, dropping away to the left.
I'd consider the fifth hole the signature hole. It's a 132 metre par 3 where you're hitting up to a seriously elevated two-tiered green. I was short right but the ball was sitting up nicely in the rough and my gap wedge lipped out.
Easy par.
The handicaps in our four were 4, 7, 9 and 29 and we all really enjoyed the course. We scored 37, 38, 36, and 52 respectively.
It's always a buzz to break 40, even if the course is a short par 34.



Seventh tee, Wairakei thermal activity in background

Agonising Golf and More Agonising Golf ebooks available
from smashwords.com

Tuesday 3 July 2012

Golf Muggers


Ever since the recent financial crisis, golf club theft has soared. Clubs are being stollen from stores, clubhouse locker rooms, cars and garages.
Nothing new there, but now golfers are even being mugged as they make their way from the 18th green to the clubhouse!
If you want to hang on to your favourite set of clubs, here's what you need to do:

1. The thieves tend to trail golfers for 9 holes and only steal clubs from the golfers with the best scores, so if you see a suspicious character hanging around, play really, really badly. (This will be easy for most golfers.)

2. Take a leaf out of Tiger's book and cultivate that really long follow-through he sometimes has, where the club leaves his hands. Practice it so that if a golf mugger approaches, you can fell him/her from a safe distance.

3. Only play with clubs that are at least 30 years old. (Not only can you guarantee not to be mugged, but this has the added advantage of making your 'hard luck' stories believable.)

4. Develop a shank, which reaches head-height. (Once again, not difficult for most golfers and has the advantage of not damaging your club on a mugger's skull.)

5. Order the Agonising Golf patented golf club protector (pictured above) which not only protects your clubs from golf muggers but eats them as well.
It's the ultimate in self-sustaining, recyclable, environmental golf gear.

Monday 2 July 2012

The Golfer's Little Helper

The 'Golfer's Little Helper' vine

Agonising Golf scientists have developed the 'Golfer's Little Helper' vine, especially for all those golfers who have trouble with trees. Plant this quick-growing plant beside the trees you have the most trouble with and, in less than 7 months, that tree will trouble you no more.

Sunday 1 July 2012

How to Put Bad Golf Shots Behind You


One of the worst faults of every golfer, amateur and professional, is that they can't put bad golf shots behind them.
Bad shots fester in the golfer's mind like a fly-blown sheep.
So, what all golfers need is a constant reminder that no matter how bad the shot you've just played, it's not the end of the world.
Agonising Golf has studied this issue and will soon announce the perfect tool to ensure that golfers will, 100% of the time, be able to immediately put any poor shot behind them and approach their next shot with a clear mind.
We're just having to fine tune it a little so that it knocks out the bad memory, but not the golfer.
It's all to do with spring strenth and lever length and best way to mount it on your golf bag, but I won't bore you with those details.
Suffice to say, that when we get the six golfers, who volunteered to test it, out of their comas we'll carry on with the prototype and get back to you.
In the meantime, we're offering our (pictured above) golf bag sticker , 'Which hole would you rather aim for?'