Golf Muggers

Ever since the recent financial crisis, golf club theft has soared. Clubs are being stollen from stores, clubhouse locker rooms, cars and garages.
Nothing new there, but now golfers are even being mugged as they make their way from the 18th green to the clubhouse!
If you want to hang on to your favourite set of clubs, here's what you need to do:

1. The thieves tend to trail golfers for 9 holes and only steal clubs from the golfers with the best scores, so if you see a suspicious character hanging around, play really, really badly. (This will be easy for most golfers.)

2. Take a leaf out of Tiger's book and cultivate that really long follow-through he sometimes has, where the club leaves his hands. Practice it so that if a golf mugger approaches, you can fell him/her from a safe distance.

3. Only play with clubs that are at least 30 years old. (Not only can you guarantee not to be mugged, but this has the added advantage of making your 'hard luck' stories believable.)

4. Develop a shank, which reaches head-height. (Once again, not difficult for most golfers and has the advantage of not damaging your club on a mugger's skull.)

5. Order the Agonising Golf patented golf club protector (pictured above) which not only protects your clubs from golf muggers but eats them as well.
It's the ultimate in self-sustaining, recyclable, environmental golf gear.