Palmer Coolum Resort on a Jandal Budget

The Palmer Coolum Resort golf course would not normally feature in a jandal budget golf holiday. However, we were fortunate that Paul, manager of the Alexandra Headland Gardens apartment we're staying at, knew that we were on the lookout for bargain green fees. He brought us a copy of his local paper which mentioned that the Coolum Resort had a special deal for local golfers. $65 for a shared cart, a round of golf, a burger and a beer. 

Looking back towards 13th tee and Mt Coolum

Considering the green fees alone are usually $115, we leapt at the opportunity of becoming Aussies for one day, so that we could take advantage of such a great offer.

We practiced our Aussie accents for a couple of hours and then got the best mimic (Fiona) to ring the course and book us in at 8.20 on a Wednesday. Fiona sprinkled liberal amounts of the word 'mate' in her conversation, and avoided any words containing 'i' and got the booking. 

There are a lot of visually intimidating holes on this course, with very few flat fairways and all the hillocks seeming to fall sharply into the water.

Apart from the ones which fall sharply into bunkers.

Approach to 1st hole

The course isn't long off the red tees (par 72, 4981 metres) but you need to be very accurate with your driving and also able to handle uneven lies. The greens weren't scary fast but large and undulating. 

The first hole is a par 5 of 433 metres, lots of water on the left, rough on the right and a creek across the fairway about 50 metres short of the green. I didn't realise the creek was there until I was just about in it. That was a very fortunate lay-up and I was on for 4 and had 2 putts for a 6. A respectable score considering it's the 5th shot hole and really, really tight. There is no such thing as easing into the game gently.

The next hole is a 108 metre par 3 with a bunker stretching across the front. I managed to skirt the bunker and had 2 putts for a 3. Confidence started to grow.

The next hole was another par 5 with a hazard left and bunkers right and a tipsy fairway. (Tipsy fairway: drunk or sober, you're not going to be able to walk a straight line.) Left of the green was a large pond, which I hoiked my third shot into.
Confidence shattered. Cost me a double bogey, but at least I found the ball. Tried not to think what the grunge it lay in consisted of.

4th tee

The 4th was a very short 274 metre par 4 with more bunkers than a doomsday cult. A superb drive followed by an excellent rescue (gripped down the shaft because I've completely lost confidence in my 5 iron) got me on the green and 2 putts resulted in par.

7th tee

I have expunged the 5th hole from my memory because all seven shots were poor. I blame them on the kangaroo poo my ball bounced in off the tee. Definitely changed the characteristics of the ball. It kept leaping off line and diving into pouches (holes).

The 7th hole is a little beauty. Elevated tee and severe dogleg left. Only 276 metres but you need to steer your drive close to the trees on the left or you'll end up in the bunkers at the far side of the fairway. Hit a good drive (I'd got rid of the kangaroo poo) and you'll be left with a short iron (7 for me) to the green.

Easy par.

Hit the 8th green (par 3, 137 metres) but 3 putted for bogey.

9th tee ... yes, my bum does look big in this

I'm tempted to call the 9th the signature hole, but you could probably call half the holes signature holes. Par 4, 286 metrres. There didn't seem to be a lot of run on the course because I hit a good drive here, a solid 3 wood and I was still 6 feet short of the green. After which I chunked my chip and 2 putted for bogey. 

Fiona hit the green in two (driver, 3 wood) and sank a 10 ft putt for birdie.

Fiona 40, Kay 44.

The 10th is a fiendishly tight 292 metre par 4. Water all the way up the left, and a long bunker just above the water, and bunkers in the landing area if you bail out too much to the right. I hit driver and 7 iron to be 10 feet past the pin ... from where I 3 putted! Damn kangaroo poo again. (Didn't see it, but there's no other reason I could 3 putt from so close.) 

11th tee

The 11th is a par 3 across a wide swathe of water, with a generous bail out area left for beginners and golfers lacking confidence, or those running out of balls. We wondered if there was an equivalent of the Loch Ness Monster here, or a fish with flatulence, as there were large bubbles in the water near the green.

Turned out to be neither - just a diver gathering balls. I presume the bubbles were from his regulator...

12th green

Loved the 12th hole, a par 5 of 408 metres. In fact, all the par 5s are great tests of accuracy and strategy. The 12th has an elevated tee and you feel like you're hitting into space because the fairway rises up ahead of you, before it and the trees on the sides disappear. Fiona cut her drive and ended up in trees on the right while I hit the best drive of my round and was well down on the flat, just 195 metres from the hole. Fiona had a difficult chip out and ended up with double bogey. Driving the fairway is a must, on this hole.

There's a large pond on the left to catch duffs and hooks and a bunker in front of the green to catch those who think they can hit the ball further than they can (99% of golfers). I hit a solid 3 wood and then played a nice half wedge on to the green and ... bloody well 3 putted again. 

13th tee, forwards

 The 13th hole is a 295 metre par 4 and picturesque both forwards and backwards.

13th hole, backwards

Because there's water all the way along the left, and the tee is situated so you have to carry some of the water, you may subconsciously bail out right. And end up where I did, (pictured above). 

Sometimes, short of the bunker is not good.

Finally we have the 18th, a 322 metre par 4. Once again, a strategically placed bunker means you can't bail out right too far from the water all the way up the left. Manage a well-placed drive and you're faced with a very narrow entrance to an undulating green in front of the clubhouse. Which also has a bunker protecting the green, front right.

Judging by the way the four of us played the 18th, the outside dining area is popular because of the entertainment provided by wayward golfers. Tough finishing hole, but at least the bar is only a hop, skip and a jump away.

Damn kangaroos. They've invaded my writing as well.

Fiona 82. Kay 87. I had to drive home.

18th tee